Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 1

Hidden Location

Hell's Basin was a large area out on the desert plains of Nevada where miles seem infinite, a very secure location for many reasons. One being that it wasn't along any flight routes and there were no connecting interstate highways. It was figuratively and literally the middle of nowhere. A no-man's land. A mysterious landscape that featured some nearby small mountains and its main oddity was that it appeared to have been the site where a meteor had once struck, creating a basin-like area. While the surrounding area mountains formed a larger scale version of the basin with a radius of about 70 miles.

Because of how the area was formed, it allowed for low-lying clouds to form more often than the rest of the desert floor giving off strange colors that reflected from the ground and the grayish tone of the atmosphere. It all looked so otherworldly and the fact that there were no other structures around for miles, it could almost be mistaken for what the place may have appeared to be in prehistoric times. A perfect place to disappear to, and off the grid.

Right at the edge there stood a natural-looking structure. A functioning base was built with available materials and resources that would sustain a group of people for a long duration of time. A deserted highway connected to an abandoned airport that was a top-secret location decades ago, was the route they took to disappear and leave no traces that anyone could follow and discover their secret base of operations. The base was built in a way that it blended with the natural environment and it couldn't be spotted by satellite unless it was known what to look for, and to appear as a simple sand and rock formation that scattered the vast desert floors.

It had been two months before new supplies were taken out there. The nearest town, sparse signs of civilization could be detected about 100 miles southeast. There were only three long-term residents however. A solemn scientist, an historian, and a quiet astronomer. Residents that remember the heyday of the Area 51 glory days. They had seen and experienced much. Burdens they carry with them to this day.

The scientist, only known as Dr. George, was a bit of an eccentric, wild in the manner of being more of a survivalist than a typical professor. Almost to the point of bitterness but well restrained as to not be entirely cold. The historian was younger, tall with dark hair and was the typical prankster. His knowledge on historical matter was unlike any other historian in his field. He had every event that was recorded and documented of all UFO sightings dating back to ancient Egypt, memorized. He went by the handle of Lurch because of his stature. The astronomer was an odd character named Isotophes, a kind of Greek name with the same air of tragedy that suited her persona. Studying the stars was her love and she wanted to be anywhere they could be seen most of the time at night. The small team were ready to get back to work, finishing touch-ups and stocking supplies in their base.

There was a plan to drive out there and meet another team that went rogue and rumored to have stolen some top-secret equipment from NASA. But they had to prepare some escape route should things go wrong. The base was the only safe place for any plans to be made and to stay completely off the radar. They didn't know what to expect. They either give up the location of the base or they keep it well hidden and a secret forever.

This was the day of choices and they needed to move forward. Dr. George sent a message to meet up at the deserted airport when the other team could get out there.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 2

Strange Roadfellows

Dr. George with his two associates drove up to the entrance to check all the locks, making sure that there were no signs of them being tampered since the last time they were there. Then parked inside a burrowed out parking garage.

"Did you hear how he talked to me in the van?" Lurch complained.
"I heard. But I paid no attention," Isotophes answered. They were bringing out sealed crates from the back of the van. Dr. George disappeared into the building.
"You know what would be funny?" Lurch then said.
"We didn't bring everything?"
"No, no." Lurch paused and checked around the corner of the van. "We could put in black lights in the lab room."
"O.K. but I'm not putting the lights back together if you blow up another fuse-box," She said as she dropped a crate. "I hope that wasn't the one with the lens."

After a while they were sitting in the dark. Lurch was repairing some wiring and a adjusting some fuses while Dr. George, holding an ice pack to his head, was leaned back resting. A small lantern kept the area lit. "My niece is coming out here." Dr. George informed them.
"You have a niece?" Lurch asked.

"Yes. She's basically being grounded for hacking into government files and re-routing Swiss accounts tied to foundations so that they ended up going to all the recycling machines that offered cash back and got them to pay out large sums of money for aluminum cans. And for circulating game codes so that corporate markets offering them for money are pretty much obsolete."
“So why send her all the way out here to Hell's Basin? Is she in hiding?" Isotophes asked.
"Her parents just want the heat to die down. She didn't do anything illegal. They're just sending her to stay with me since I used to take care of her so many years ago, and saw to it that she got to school and church on time" Dr. George concluded.
"How is all that not illegal?" Lurch asked.
"Well, maybe it is. Small little world with its small little world problems. No one who runs things are ever grown up or sane." Dr. George sighed. And it was true. From the things that he's been a part of, the scheme of things in the universe lessened anything of grave concern on earth as trivial.

“No wonder she's screwed up. You kept threatening to take her to church when she was younger." Lurch put in.
“You’re such a Satan worshiper." Isotophes replied.
"Who me?" Lurch asked.
"Okay what were we talking about?" Isotophes shook her head and had to go outside and bring in the last parts of her telescope that she was setting up in the domed section of the base.

They were all expecting to get word from the rogue team coming out to meet them at the abandoned airport. After waiting for days, they finally got a message that the other team would be driving an unmarked van. But as they drove toward their destination they spotted a bus that was also driving on the same dusty highway. What was unusual is that the bus had a large red NASA logo on its side.

The occupants of the NASA bus, which was acquired from a salvage yard and obviously rebuilt, were none other than the magicians known as Penn and Teller who were on a small tour scouting for a perfect location for their next television show. Of course the team from the real NASA didn't know that and didn't know who Penn and Teller were.

There was a storm coming. They drove toward the approaching storm, taking little notice of it. "Oh look, we're out of gas," Penn said nonchalantly. Teller flinched.
"Oh look, Hell's Basin," Penn mused.
Teller looked at Penn with a somewhat annoyed expression.
"Well, I don't know what it's really called, but it looks like something that would be called Hell's Basin."
Teller rolled his eyes and looked out the window.
"We're out of gas." Penn spoke again, smiling.

The rogue team couldn't wait at the derelict airport now, plans had changed. They would now have to find Dr. George's location and hope that the strange NASA bus would go on. They sent a message asking if they were still secure, and explained that the equipment they had with them must be gotten off the road, off the surface, and underground as soon as possible.

There were three members of the fugitive rogue team, consisting of a marine named Breaker, an engineer who simply went by Nuzz and an older woman who used to work in the utmost secret areas of Area 51 who had been living under the alias Monday Eve. She had been in hiding for decades, and she did not want this mission to go awry. This NASA bus was far more than jarring, it was a curse in her eyes. A very ill omen.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 3

Expected And Unexpected Arrivals

The few sources of energy they could get in Hell's Basin were a massive set of tanks, tapped underground pressure for temperature control. For the small electrical grid they secretly ran off the main power sources from the lone airport. The airport was a good cover, since no one in the power company knew that it had been empty for over five years and it never used the lights anymore. It hadn't used enough power to be a priority for check-ups of where the power was actually going. It was re-routed in a way that the outsourced power seemed to fall off into a black hole. They even used the airport's radar equipment whenever the mood struck them. The tanks needed new valves and checked overall but it was all functioning very nicely.

The sun was setting and the clouded skies shaded the base in the shadow of dusk. Dr. George's niece had arrived. She wasn't quite alone. Her entourage included her friend, Ben, her pet tarantula, her distant cousin who was referred to as Mole, and a rather impressive computer system that was being hauled in a 1977 Chevrolet van.
"Where do we set up?" Sketch asked casually as she hopped out of the van looking for her uncle to come out to greet her.

"Oh my god! We have visitors!" Dr. George gasped. He quickly gathered everyone together to give instructions.
"On your best behavior, be kind, and nice, and no funny shit!" as he pointed directly at Lurch.
"Aye, aye sir, captain, your royal flippin' highness." Lurch retorted and muttered as Dr. George went out to greet his new guests.
 
Ben smiled as he hauled out of the back of the van a small satellite dish with all the numbers scraped off of it and a barely distinguishable IBM logo on the side.

The van had been properly unloaded and hidden out of sight in another built-in burrow nearby. Ben helped Sketch set up all their equipment as they talked quietly to one another.

"There's a storm on the way," Isotophes told them as she walked by with a supply of dry-meals for the mess hall.

Ben paused. He started speaking in a dry tone. "We'll be stuck out here, have to survive on mere instinct, someone could end up backed into a corner and have to fight their way out, or even worse."

"That is the plan," Isotophes said with the same tone.

A few moments later Isotophes walked by them again carrying the same crate.
"There's a storm on the way," she said absently, going into the same room she had just emerged from only moments ago.

"Deja vu?" Ben asked Sketch.
"Is this bad, or inconvenient?" Sketch asked Ben.
"Wouldn't either be both?" Ben asked back.

The expected team made contact with Dr. George and to everyone's surprise he announced that the team that would be meeting them will have two other people with them. As Dr. George explained that they had to allow themselves to be followed by a NASA bus with two guys on board as they were critically out of gas and needed to hunker down somewhere for the night. They weren't sure how this happened but from the sounds of it, Penn and Teller were on the same road and needed to get gas. They waved to them to pull over, and in a move of sheer bravery despite their paranoia, they did, so they might ask about the bus and if they were from NASA. When it was explained that they were not from the government and that it was just some old tour bus from NASA, they figured it was better to allow them to come along with them rather than risk them talking to anyone on their travels about any strangers that were driving an unmarked van.

Upon first sight of Hell's Basin and the secret base, it looked like a structure of fiber-glass and rusted steel before it was apparent that the materials used were of actual rock and desert.

Monday's van was hidden with the other party's van and the bus would have to be parked somewhere else later on. There were now eleven people at the base in Hell's Basin and a very large pet spider which half of the people there knew nothing about.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 4

Getting Settled In For The Unsettling

Dr. George motioned his guests inside. "Come meet the others." The group ran to their respective hiding places as Penn, Teller, the mission team, and Dr. George stepped inside leaving Isotophes standing alone and confused. "Who have we here?" Everyone shook each other's hands. Penn and Teller shook everyone's hands, and then shook each other's hands. Penn started to talk about how great the place looked then asked if Teller had said something. Teller shook his head vehemently. Dr. George said, enthusiastically, “We call this place Hell's Basin." Teller looked around, then back at Penn in surprise.

Sketch continued to hook up her computer system. "Hey, Ben." Ben looked up from the various wires he had been untangling. "What?"
"Who do you think those two new stiffs are?"
"No clue. Have you seen a red wire?"

Sketch's cousin popped out of an overhead vent. "What is this? Some kind of tour?"
"Who is that?" Penn asked. Teller looked at the kid like he was a sewer rat.
"Who? Him?" Dr. George looked toward the kid as he jumped down from the vent. Teller nodded slowly.
"That's just Morris. We call him Mole." Mole saluted Dr. George and disappeared back into the vent. The two magicians knew this wasn't anything normal and that they had traveled too far off the beaten path.

Ben and Sketch were finished setting up the computer system and decided to investigate the bus that the newcomers arrived in. They walked past Dr. George, Penn, and Teller as they talked. The mission team were off somewhere else in the base getting things set up. There was to be some equipment moved and they were already in the process of getting that done.

The two stalwart friends headed out to the bus. Sketch checked the door handle. "It's locked."
"Not a problem." Ben pulled out a lock pick set and soon had the door open. "Et voila!"
The duo climbed into the bus and looked around. They saw computers, tools, dynamite, knives, ropes, and a crate of fire arms.
"Okay, either these guys are nuts or they are really cool," Sketch said in awe.

Back inside the guests were all making themselves comfortable. Sketch noticed Teller standing off alone looking out the giant window panel that let in enough outside light to illuminate the room but still tinted enough to offer a brownish-orange hue to appear as natural light filtered through the clever design of the hidden base. While Teller admired the way things were designed and the craftsmanship, he took no notice to the large, hairy spider inching its way up the back of his suit coat. Sketch drew in a gasp of air and slowly walked toward Teller. Just then Teller must have known something was amiss because he turned and saw Sketch's expression of concern and terror. Teller lowered an eyebrow and suddenly the spider raced over his left shoulder. Teller's eyes were wide and his face turned white as Sketch whispered "Don't move!"

But it was too late as Teller started to run and twirl around rapidly, causing the spider to jump onto the nearby plant which was very delicate and the spider's weight caused it to fall to the floor.

By now everyone was dodging a very aggravated spider that was the size of a small dog, on a rampage. Sketch managed to gently pick up her pet spider and put it on her shoulder where it nestled onto her shirt collar. Mole fell from a vent out of fear that another spider was on the loose. Mole told the others that the vents aren't always that safe.
"Yeah, and the noises in the ventilation system are great for getting people all wound up," Lurch added. Isotophes grabbed the back of his ponytail and whispered in his ear. "I hate you."
"It wasn't a real alien, would you just forget about that!" Lurch begged.

Penn wondered what Lurch meant by that, and his face grew a bit dark. He actually twitched. Teller had already fainted.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 5

Restless Evening

Penn went to retrieve things out of the bus. He grabbed his knives, a rope, his nickel plated .357 Magnum, and his Beretta. Later that evening, Sketch sat by the window, watching the storm clouds over the horizon grow closer. All the turbulent activity and frequent lightning befitted the cataclysmic storm. Sketch went back to her computer system and continued downloading the floor plans of the compound.

As night began to descend in the dusk, Isotophes and Dr. George stood outside, a few hundred yards from the building. "It does look like an odd structure of fiber-glass and stainless steel, doesn't it?" she said.

"You need to seal up all the secret trap doors and passages in there. Except the underground tunnel to the airport," Dr. George instructed her.

"Already did, sir. I even let Lurch know where a few of them are. Those are the ones I put the contact cement in and around. Just because. . ."

"What about the supplies, and the containments?"

"I got it all down. I got Sketch on it, the floor plans are being looked over. This place will be easier to rebuild now that we have the equipment, if anything happens."

"And the telescope? The lens and the beam?"

"It's almost ready. We're only going to get one shot at this. That storm is a mother-ship out there, and NASA's probably already tracking it." Isotophes looked up at the sky knowingly. She looked back at Dr. George. "By the way, who are those two fellows that NASA sent here, anyway? Didn't Monday Eve suggest they were not from NASA though?"

Dr. George looked at her with a blank expression. "I don't rightly know, they say they're magicians. What the hell kind of cover is that?"

"I don't know who they are, but the names sound familiar, I know I've heard them before. The one called Teller, he says they've dabbled in expeditions from time to time. They have a grade D in Scuba diving. Master divers, you know. But what are they doing all the way out here in the desert?" At that Dr. George furrowed his brow in confusion.

Later that night, they were all gathered around a very large table. The lightning was a glaring series of flashes as the thunder could be heard getting closer, weaving the entire compound in an eerie glow as everyone ate quietly. Lurch sat by Sketch. Isotophes, Nuzz and Monday were talking casually. Breaker ate quietly and looked at no one. Penn and Teller were staring at everyone. Dr. George was staring at them.

Finally, Lurch broke the small talk. "Why do we have a solar density gun?" he asked blatantly while looking at each and every person seated at the table.

"I have it in safe keeping. No pissing off the aliens and blowing us all to Hell, or Hell's Basin as it were," Dr. George informed Lurch.

"Aliens?" Penn asked with a slight quiver in his voice.

"These kinds of missions are usually suicide, so you should know that any use of force or hostility will set us back years, like it did last time when alien paranoia caused the last team to do something stupid. Tracking these rare magnetic storm fields won't hail an invasion, it's what's waiting on the other side of that storm. They knew not with what they were dealing with." Dr. George said cryptically.

"Your little case of dynamite is also outdated." Lurch added in reference to Penn and Teller's stash of goodies.
"Teller has already told me that everything is non-weapons grade," Sketch said.
"Nitro that couldn't even put a dent in a Yugo," Mole chimed in, snickering.

"NASA won't get the jump on anything this time." Isotophes said distantly. Penn and Teller looked over at Isotophes. She just pushed her food away and took a drink of the sparkling clear water with a faraway look in her eyes.

"It was all Teller's idea. He planned everything." Penn said sheepishly referring to their travels in the desert. The others still thought of them as agents who also turned rogue. Teller's expression went from blank to wide-eyed.

All of a sudden the tarantula ran across the table. There was calamity and Sketch tried desperately to catch the poor thing. "Do not hurt my spider!" she cried while leaping from her seat. The spider continued its path off of the table and down to the floor. "I used to have one like it." Breaker remembered.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 6

Small Invasions

Teller hid under the table crying, Penn fainted and everyone else was nowhere to be found. Sketch took off after the spider. The spider cut a corner and disappeared. Shortly after a crash could be heard coming from the direction Sketch had gone. Teller crawled out from under the table, knocking one of the cold water pitchers onto Penn, and went towards the scream.

Two-thirds of the way down the corridor, Sketch appeared to be in shock. Her eyes were unfocused, staring blindly at an open vent on the other side of the room. A large robotic apparatus had fallen and was crumpled in a pile on the floor.

There was a note laying on the metallic heap. Penn picked it up. "All your base belong to us." Penn muttered. "Nah, just kidding. It says 'Tag, you're it!'" Penn rolled his eyes. "Now, does this mean I'm it or what?"

Sketch figured it was another prank played by Lurch. Later that night, Sketch awoke. She looked up to see a face hovering inches above hers. The face turned into an expression of surprise. Sketch moved away from the face and tumbled out of bed. Nuzz climbed onto the bed and looked down at Sketch. He seemed apologetic as he reached down and pulled her up from the floor. "Don't do that. You almost gave me a heart attack." Sketch held her chest and waited for her pulse to slow. Ben was there waiting for her to tell what happened.

Sketch looked innocently at Ben. "Well, first, before I tell you anything, give me back my spider that you're wearing in your hair." At this Ben freaked out, running out of the room screaming. He came back in, rather annoyed. "You were saying?"

Sketch took a breath. "Well, I was chasing my spider and it ran into the empty storage room. I followed it in and just as I got my hands around it, the vent banged open. I turned to see who it was and. . ." Suddenly, there was a clap of thunder and the lights went out. Lightning briefly illuminated the room and revealed looks of near terror on everyone's faces.

". . .and then, I had the spider, right?" Sketch continues. "But when I turned to see no one standing anywhere near the place, the spider ran off again and that pile of metal had crashed down from the vent and scared me to death, missing my poor baby by a few inches!"
Isotophes glared at Lurch. "You're such a spider abuser!"

Breaker searched and secured the compound. If there had been anyone else there, he would have found them. Chocking it up to a prank played by Lurch and Lurch neither admitted or denied it.

As the night was getting on, there was an unnerving dead silence outside. The storm clouds hung overhead like a heavy blanket, shielding the unknown. Penn and Teller were given quarters to sleep in and two camping cots. They didn't want to sleep out in their tour bus, but they weren't too crazy about falling asleep with a deranged spider on the loose, either. Penn spoke quietly to Teller.

"We run out of gas, end up in Hell's Basin, get our weapons confiscated, aliens are hovering overhead, mad scientists are probably going to offer us up as some sacrificial abducted experiment, that spider's had time to make a million more spiders and there's probably someone else here, who obviously has no security clearance and why do those other three guys hang out in the downstairs area, building whatever they got down there and not letting anyone play with it." Penn said while listing off all the things that ran through his mind.

Teller looked up through the skylights and softly spoke. "So? What's the problem?"

"I just want to know what we're up against. Don't you just love show business?" Penn answered back. Teller smiled in agreement.

"Next time you don't need to pour a whole pitcher of ice cold water on me, if I faint again," Penn whispered over. "Lukewarm water or no water at all would be much better, if you wanna live through this," Penn stated, then fell asleep.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 7

Backup Plans

Sketch, Breaker and Isotophes were sitting in the small outer quarters of the base that looked out over the desert and under a thin canopy between them and the stars. They were drinking hot tea and trying to unwind.

"Did you get all the floor plans down?" Isotophes asked.
"Yes, yes, I still have to download the underground that leads to the airport. But if full power isn't restored, and we have to run off these back-up generators my equipment isn't going to be good for shit." Sketch said, rubbing the back of her neck to relieve the tension. Her spider sitting comfortably, balled up on her left shoulder.

"So far the plan is running on the hope that NASA is trying to steal another craft out of one of the underground chambers at Area 51." Isotophes mentioned as they looked over a chart. Sketch nodded her head. She looked back up at Isotophes.
"Did they ever have any good reason for doing this shit?" Sketch wondered.
"Dr. George found out who ordered all of it, but they always felt it was something that all belonged to them since the ordeal with the moon landing, but they never took too kindly to a separate government agency building the Area 51. Naturally NASA being who they are, wanted every damned thing they filmed and figured it all belonged to them." Isotophes told Sketch and Breaker with a tone of bitterness. "Nevermind that whoever were flying those craft were killed in the process of the great hijacking."

"Grand theft U.F.O." Sketch said dryly. Sketch leaned back and asked, "So what about the aliens in the storm now?"

"It happens with every magnetic storm that comes this way. My guess is that someone is still looking for their fellow pilots. Wherever they're from. And the spacecrafts." Isotophes paused for a moment. "But Area 51 wasn't the answer either. They were under the same kind of leaders that NASA had. It was always about war. Making deadlier war machines and destroyer ships from the technology of the crafts they had and then they began reverse-engineering and building more like the originals. Hording them and no one ever knew except those involved and those they dragged into being involved."

At this, Sketch and Breaker saw that the tragic persona of Isotophes was not a mere illusion. She had experienced things that were surely dark and scarring.

"My uncle shares a lot with me. He tells me that the aliens will be coming back to reclaim their crafts and that this time we're going to be sure to help them. Really, NASA has fucked up more lives than those of the unaware peeps on earth." Sketch said. Then after a few moments and shaking off the uneasy feeling they were feeling, Sketch changed the subject. "You know, those names sound familiar. Penn and Teller. I don't know why." Sketch thought for a moment, paused, then drew a blank. Isotophes shrugged.

"Well, at any rate," Sketch continued. "they're gonna have to go under code names while they're here, for security reasons. I was thinking something like Fester and Renfield or Siegmeir and Hans."

"I like Fester and Renfield. It has a ring to it, in a dark castle kind of way." Breaker quipped.

The next day, Dr. George and Sketch showed Penn the tanks and pointed out where all the gauges and read-outs were and how to read them. Penn took all of this in. Lurch was busy un-gluing Mole from an air vent opening and Teller was showing Ben a card trick. Ben tried his best but kept looking over his shoulder. "Do we have full power yet?!" Ben yelled over at Dr. George.

"I'm sorry, I'll have to do this later, Teller, uh, I mean, Renfield." Ben said and walked away. Teller looked very confused. He shook his head. By his visage, it was obvious that he was questioning the sanity of everyone. He saw a shadow pass by the slats in the nearby vent. Monday Eve and Breaker, who were nearby never took notice. Teller sighed with a very troubled look.

"I have a million things to do, Renfield, ask me later," Monday Eve said as she also left the room with Breaker following her. Teller had not asked any questions. Teller put his ear close to the vent. He strained to hear. There were mingled voices from the main room where everyone apparently was. He heard things like 'normal for these kinds of storms to linger', 'slowly circulating', 'abducted', and 'what we're trying to prevent'.

Teller dropped his deck of cards and ran out of the room in terror. Tripping on a wire coiled into a metal casing, he caused a panel of a nearby unfinished wall to crash to the floor as he fled. He ended up in a very large basket holding yards of canvas material which rolled into an empty drum, knocking it over. Realizing he was now in the main room, he jumped out and regained his composure.

"Hey, that was great, Renfield!" Penn said, patting Teller on the back. Isotophes led him away from the empty drum barrel so she could pick it up, so it wouldn't roll. "Safety first."

Ben checked the schematics of the generators, everything was running smoothly. Sketch looked over the floor plans again. "Hey, Isotophes, you know all the passages and trap doors here right?" Sketch asked in a 'just wondering' tone of voice.
"Yeah, every nook and cranny. Why?"
"Okay, take a look at this. All the regular doors and windows have been marked in red and green respectively. But these entrances here are. . .?" Sketch asked, indicating a few little marks on the floor plans. "Those are the secret entrances." Isotophes answered. "And These. . ." Sketch went on indicating a few more marks as she pointed them out, "have all been sealed. The rest are blocked. Why? This floor covers the same area right?"
"Of course." Isotophes looked closer at the plans.
"So why are we missing approximately 500 square feet? This space is unaccounted for." Sketch circled the area in yellow ink.

Dr. George came up from behind, looked over their shoulders and patted Sketch on the back. "That's another back-up plan." He said.

"What do you mean? The airport space isn't enough?" Sketch asked.
"The space is there, it's just something is occupying it right now. And no, the airport would not be a good idea for this particular item."
"Is that where the solar density gun is?" Isotophes asked directly. Suddenly Sketch and the rest knew why the space was unaccounted for. It was a hidden chamber that had to be kept encased in coolant.
"So are we nuclear?" Ben asked.
"Not exactly." Dr. George reassured him. But it wasn't really all that reassuring.
"Don't worry. It'll only be used on NASA hats." Dr. George said sharply.

Sketch then noticed another area. Another level that had ten times that amount of unaccounted for space, but let it go until she could get her uncle and Isotophes alone before pushing the issue.

Dr. George monitored the storm. It hadn't moved from the area of the compound and it hadn't dissipated. "Damn, we're in for a long stay, aren't we?" remarked a voice from behind. He turned to see Penn looking at the monitors over his shoulder, then nodding he continued tracking.

"Of all the places to run out of gas, we get stuck in Dullsville." Penn walked away, thoughtfully munching an apple.

Suddenly a bright flash of light lit up all the windows. It had an odd thing about it as it was reddish and it was followed with the eerie sound of metal scraping far overhead. There was a bright blue light and then everything went dark.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 8

Battle Stations

The power remained, and all equipment was still operational but there was a stark change to the atmosphere. It was apparent that a ship of otherworldly origins was present and very close.

Lurch ran to the generators and after making quick checks realized that they were all running with different outputs. "Why are the generators all running different r.p.m.'s?" Lurch yelled over to Dr. George. Not knowing every detail was something that irked Lurch but this was something that really startled him.

"If I were to explain it, you would perhaps be more afraid." Dr. George yelled back. Sketch furrowed her eyebrows as she was also perplexed by this. The generators never indicated this behavior before and now it seemed they were rigged to react to something they did not quite understand.

However, the whole base was on high alert and Dr. George did not have time to explain anything. Finally Isotophes looked up from where she was watching the radar. "I can't believe that you, of all people, don't know why!" She said with annoyance. "I mean, you're supposed to know about every last UFO sighing all the way back 4000 years ago, and you don't know why the generators are built in a way to pick up varying r.p.m.'s on this land surface? They're a simply a gauge to have a heads up on the what and who!"

Dr. George noticed that Penn and Teller had hidden themselves behind the large basket that Teller tripped into earlier. He shook his head and continued checking all radar monitors.

Isotophes looked over at Sketch and Ben and then sighed, giving in to explaining something she wasn't ready for. "It wasn't just my love of the stars that I went into astronomy, it was a primal need to want to reach out, and see vast space above. I didn't start out in the field of science as an astronomer. I was a paleontologist and digging up fossils was fine with me until I was literally forced underground." Isotophes was now visibly anguished. "I was digging up other matter that had been discovered buried deep within the earth. Things I didn't know existed and wish I had never found." She related with a heavy heart. "After that I wanted to keep my focus on loftier things. Outer space was a way to heal. To feel there was endless space and that closed in earth was all behind me. The deeper you go, the vibrations, the generated energies of anything that far down would be very noticeable. It's just a safety measure since we're close to a lot of areas that were classified as. . .uncharted territory. They always have signatures of some kind."

Sketch looked up through the telescope nearby. "So the generators are set in r.p.m.'s to coincide with earth vibrations as well as vibrations on other planes?"

Isotophes nodded. "Yes. The slower the rotations, the closer a ship is, the faster the rotations, the closer the bad guys are. They can only use a set of frequencies they know and they've redesigned some ships to drain power from even the cheapest generators, but we've been long prepared for anything like that."

Dr. George inserted, "And the generators will match the power output and disguise the base from being detected. So if we lose power, then you know something very powerful is out there. But for now, it's the usual."

"It's usual to have UFOs flying around out here?" Penn asked from behind the basket. Sketch rolled her eyes. "Depends on what kind, Renfield." Teller snapped back "Hey, I'm Renfield!"

Lurch was confused. The answer was eluding him. "So why all the different r.p.m.'s?" Dr. George looked over at him and started to walk over to the generators. "They are all designed to run on what output is being driven by the core function." He answered.

"How very. . .Tesla." Lurch grinned. But it was shortly determined that the ship hovering overhead wasn't occupied by any being. That it was, in fact, empty.

"Oh no, no, no." Dr. George stammered. "NASA is already stealing another one!" He yelled and the rest of team sprang into action. Apparently there was activity at Area 51 that they did not detect. The bare landscape outside was almost pitch black. They were isolated. It was good for research purposes, but in an emergency, it would be the worst possible situation. They all looked up at the stormy sky. They saw a bright red flash in the sky coming from the cloud. The cloud dissipated to reveal a huge ship, then the cloud thickened over it again, hiding all traces of the ship.

A high-pitched whine pierced through the air. The radio signals were caught on Sketch's computer and started recording all incoming data from the cloud. The wind picked up and a few members of the team clasped their hands to their ears and fell to their knees. The sound was unmistakably a tractor beam hitting the sides of the ship.

"I'm not a goddamned scientist, I'm a magician, so when UFOs are being stolen from Area 51 for no apparent reason, I'd guess an alien abduction of their own ships. Or a ship-jacking. Which is it? I told you it was all Teller's fault!"

"I'm Renfield, damnit!"

"This wasn't supposed to happen until later on, tonight!" Isotophes said as she lined up the telescope with the sky-view window. Sketch was soon behind her monitors and Ben, with Dr. George, were typing on their keyboards as fast as they could. Penn, Teller and Mole sat at the table nearby, looking exhausted.

"Most planets rotate in a prograde motion, so we're going to target its linear movement at a 6.0 range that should cover the mean distance if we got this right." Isotophes said as she gave Sketch a thumbs up.

"I'm tracking at a 90 degree angle. If we overload the output level in that thing, we'll be reading about twelve thousand feet into the air. Giving plenty of room for error in determining the distance," Sketch said as she handed Ben a clipboard with graphs attached.

"Dr. G, give me what kind of radio signals we're getting from this thing," Isotophes cued the others as she adjusted her lenses. "We're only getting two right now, 3000 megahertz and 130 gigahertz." Breaker reported and Dr. George confirmed.

"Shit! We're not staying invisible for long if NASA's getting this!" Sketch pointed out.

"I can reset the previous radians to the grid we set up earlier, we should be within the range without detection." Breaker said.

"No, you'd still have to go outside the compound, it wouldn't operate properly from inside." Nuzz answered as he got the ship within range on the equipment they brought with them. "There she is, come on, baby, you can do it, we're not here, good, unsuspecting pilot. . .yes. . ."

"There is no pilot on this one!" Dr. George reminded him. Nuzz looked back at the others. "So now what?" He asked in frustration.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 9

Standing By

"Now we wait." Dr. George said while testing the base's security comms for the locked areas to make sure they were functional.

"Are we a go?" Sketch asked her uncle. He nodded in the affirmative. Penn and Teller were now standing with the others at the telescope. They wanted to see.

"You'll only see something like an infra-red image," Isotophes said. They saw the ship as it just sat there, as if mocking them.

Penn took a second look, and then looked back to the others. "Ah. . .you got a little more than one ship out there."

"There's a mother ship out there." Dr. George said flipping a few switches on the panel for the roof lights.

"Aw, the mothership brought her little babies. That's adorable." Penn said in a tone that was either sarcastic or sheer terror trying to disguise itself as bravery. Outside a gust of wind jarred a piece of faux rock loose, making it fall from its encasing.

"You two still armed?" Sketch asked Penn and Teller, who opened their jackets slightly to reveal that they were packing. Sketch’s spider ran across the telescope lens. Sketch looked at it and let it proceed. Penn and Teller were back by the basket, looking paranoid.

"Are we going to be eaten by aliens?" Penn asked.

"They would probably ask the same thing about us." Monday Eve said. "This place is designed to be invisible, even to satellites, unless you know what you're looking for. We're tracking these reoccurring phenomena known as Magnetic Spiral Storms, and the only theory NASA ever came up with was some weak myth about moon dust or some bullshit like that. Kinda like their infamous weather balloon nonsense. So anything hostile out there would be NASA, not the aliens. We're sort of like, think of us as an intervention."

Isotophes looked over at Sketch who still hadn't asked the question about the extra space on the floor plans. "Wanna know what that extra, unaccounted space is for?"
"For the solar gun, right?" Ben said.
"The 500 square feet, yes. But the floor plans for the upper level, the 10,000 square feet."
"Another level of just 10,000 square feet?"
Sketch shushed Ben.
"We're stealing a spaceship." Isotophes said.
"Fucking A." Sketch smiled, who knew it was something along those lines.

Penn looked at Teller with a confused twitch. The spider crawled up the wall and into the vent.

While the sheering whine of metal could still be heard from outside and the storm picked up, another flash of light struck. Lurch disappeared in full view of the others and reappeared seconds later. This didn't seem to startle some of the team, but it scared some of the others.

Ben came up to Lurch and looked him over, as if making a silent judgment. "You may have been abducted and had your brain washed, causing memory loss and trauma leading to delusion. Please go to the lab so we can test you for radiation," Ben said in a very concerned, yet informative, tone.

Lurch advanced to hurt Ben but the others stopped him. Ben and Lurch began to laugh. "Hey, glad to have you back, buddy!" Ben said, laughing.

"So you aren't cloned or anything, are you?" Penn asked Lurch.

"I was not abducted."

"Well, I actually saw you disappear."

"And if you're really a magician, you'd know that light can be bent to make something disappear."

"Yeah, we're magicians. NOT advanced alien life that have the technology to fucking bend light!" Penn remarked sharply.

It seemed that this was apparently one prank that Lurch was not in on, as he was obviously annoyed.

"Did you guys try this before?" Teller asked Dr. George.

"Yes. Didn't go as planned."

"So let me get this straight, the last crew panicked, pointed a tracking beam, or some solar gun at a UFO and blew everyone up?" Penn asked in a just wondering kind of way.

"Basically." Dr. George answered.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 10

Hell's Basin, We Have A Problem

"We still have unaccounted for aliens though, right?" Lurch questioned Monday Eve.

“It's not just the basic information that's hidden on purpose; they  can't even find a link between humans and these so-called aliens. Some are not from outer space, and we never actually confirmed which aliens were what from the first mission." she answered. "Another example of idiots who run things that don't know their ass from a hole in the ground."

"If they're not from outer space, then why the spaceships?" Penn asked. "So they're from where?"

"Underground, they're the ones who showed us to the minerals and other resources which were then used to craft the base of these ships they're constructing. They use a weaving pattern, and the friction loss is only 5%, making maintenance, cloaking and flight easier."

"So can we go into outer space?" Penn asked with a sparkle in his eye.
"Let's get it out the gate first, we don't even know if this is going to work; pulling off a stunt like this is dangerous at best."

Penn and Teller were now seated at one of the smaller tables, a look of worry was plastered on their faces. Their whole belief of what aliens were and weren't had been brought into question. What’s more, apparently, they, whoever they were, were trying to construct a fleet of spaceships. However, Penn and Teller also knew that these people weren't too damned happy with Area 51 or NASA and took it upon themselves to break a few underground laws. So there was that element that they were probably classified as fugitives and here they were, at their base and aiding and abetting in the theft of craft that were built by beings that most people don't know even exist. The gravity of this situation was now starting to seep in.

Ben got up and backed away from the table. The spider had decided it wanted Ben's chair. Mole jumped back and everyone cleared away from the table.

"What's the spider's name?" Teller asked Sketch.
"Midgetknuckle." Sketch answered.

"You know," Penn started. “If there are aliens in those things up there, floating over the planet in a spaceship and causing a magnetic storm as a cover, why would you fear NASA? They could just map the desert floor, or whatever their problem is. So why care about NASA?" "Because, Fester," Breaker said, "we're using their stuff."

“Oh shit! A pane is down out there, we’re getting zero thermal reading up here now!" Sketch reported. "And the ships are here, if my reading is correct, we've got 285 feet," Ben added.

Sketch took her miniature tool set and headed out the door. For some reason, everyone followed her outside. Sketch trotted over to the stray rock shaped panel and picked it up. Penn and Teller helped her clip it back into place. They got it back the appropriate height and angle. Everyone looked up at the strange, lingering storm.

There was another red flash of light coming through the clouds. Something odd was coming through the clouds; it looked like the bottom part of some type of craft. Though rather faint, it at first looked as if it was part of the cloud itself, but the glow of amber and bronze was now visible. Everyone was standing and staring.

"How is NASA stealing this?" Ben asked Dr. George. "They've got tracking on it. The beam isn't secure, but my readings have picked up a tracking beam. The ship isn't in position to break away, or attempting a break away. No pilots. This is either a hovering test run or 51 has been broken into again." Dr. George said.

"Again?!" Penn exclaimed. "Yeah," Monday Eve said with a sigh.

“Wait! We can’t be directly under that ship! I don’t know if it’s reached polar reversal, we don't know if it's hovering on instruments or not. We could be Swiss cheese if we stay out here!" Isotophes indicated. They started back inside the base.

"How do we really know if there's no pilot?" Breaker insisted. “Okay, we’ll not let them see us freak. We go down fighting! No shooting until it becomes necessary!" Dr. George commanded.

They all stood within the ominous glow of the spacecraft. They looked at each other, trying to think of something. Then, almost at once, mingled shouts imminated from the group.

“Come get me I.T.!" Ben shouted out. “I think it’s E.T." Sketch reminded him. "Your ship is so bland, it’s off center!" “Nazis are more threatening, even in Lederhosen!" "You can’t even explore other planets because you're always drunk." Other unseemly remarks of the sort were uttered as the group ran towards the building.

“Oh, probe this!" Penn added his two cents. They ran as fast as they could while the spider, unnoticed, ran behind them and through the doors as the crew got back inside.

They all stood up against the doors while catching their breath. They backed away from the doors slowly, huddled together. The door flew open, allowing a thin layer of smoke to travel through the open space. They all scattered and ran into their hiding places, leaving Teller standing alone. “Oh fuck this!" He said before also running away.

A figure walked into the main room, lit up a cigarette and looked back at the doors. “Alright, get your asses in here!" The strange person ordered to some unseen people who were apparently waiting outside.

Dr. George recognized an old friend and came up to greet him. Smiling he introduced him to the others. "Mortamule Snide, everyone!"

Penn and Teller who were walking up to greet him, suddenly turned around and went back to their table and sat down with annoyed looks on their faces. The group exchanged dry hellos. They noticed that their new visitor was wearing a black jumpsuit with an 'Area 51 Security' patch on his arm.

"So where are these other people you brought here?" Dr. George asked, looking out the doors. "Nah, I was just pulling your chain." Mortamule said. "Anyway yeah, well, I may have gotten the goddamn ships, but we have a problem," Mortamule took a deep puff off his cigarette and went on to explain.

“One ship was my only plan, stealing the one ship that I went to all the trouble of disconnecting from their hangar equipment and computers. Apparently it was a mother ship and the damned thing was still maintaining a tractor beam with all the other spacecraft in the flight bay."

“Which means?" asked Dr. George, a nervous look on his face. “Go look outside, we’ve got something like forty two fucking UFOs parked out there." Mortamule said as he checked his watch.
"How did you fly it out here without even us detecting any life form on board?" Lurch asked.

"I'm a UFO pilot, I can do whatever the hell I want." Lurch accepted that answer, shrugged and walked away. "He's wearing a special fabric, it. . .blends." Monday Eve told Lurch.
"Are we still safe here?" Sketch wondered. "Look, if you're stealing a TV from a store and the wires are dangling behind you while you run out the door, you don't stop and pick them up, you just fucking run." Mortamule said. "Makes sense." Sketch accepted his analogy.

All of a sudden, Penn and Teller didn't want to be there. What with all the borrowed  equipment from NASA and the many wonderful, yet stolen spaceships from Area 51, it just didn't seem like them. They began working out some kind of bizarre disclaimer in their heads, but gave up after five minutes.

"Well, we're going now, it's been nice meeting all of you, it's been real, have fun now." Penn said as he and Teller headed towards the entrance. The others looked at them with blank expressions.

"We're not calling the feds, we're not with the CIA, we're not goons from NASA, we're nobody! Just two lost magicians who ran out of gas!" Penn began to weep, "We do tricks, with cards and knives, and maybe an occasional gun or two, so please let us go!" He begged.

Mortamule looked at them studiously. A slight expression of recognition came over his face. “Two magicians? What are your names?"

"Fester and Renfield," Penn answered.

"Never heard of you."

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 11

Dark Times Remembered

Mortamule noticed Monday Eve was present. They exchanged knowing glances and said nothing. They both worked at Area 51 and knew the drama that pervaded the place.

"We can forget the extra space now," Isotophes said. "There would only be room for one ship."
"Weren't you also associated with A-51?" Mortamule asked her as she adjusted her telescope.
“That was a long time ago." Isotophes said.
"What was your rank?" Mortamule asked while grabbing a chair and sitting down close to her.
"Tunnels. I explored the tunnels before they were. . .updated."
“Mortuary is more like it." Monday Eve retorted.

Isotophes looked away and nodded in agreement. Mortamule was intrigued. He pressed on and wondered how many more people at Hell's Basin were present that had once worked at or was in some way affiliated with Area 51.

"I left because of what they were doing out there." Isotophes said with a tone that was unmistakably distressed. "Endless experiments, being followed no matter where I went"

"That's how they run all of 51, remember even the government isn't supposed to know about us!" Mortamule said trying to offer some sort of comfort.

"But you got out, you cleared away, they never followed you." Monday Eve said to Isotophes. There was something that was bothering both of them and Mortamule was starting to see what had went on.

"That's because they didn't think I had anything! I couldn't do their shit anymore." Isotophes said back.

"Yes, but do you know what kind of darkness that place harbors now?" Monday Eve's voice then lowered to almost a whisper as she looked at Isotophes with dark foretelling. "Those beings, those cloth-thin bodies, never being able to maintain any solidity or cell growth. Most of them already dead by the time they'd cart them in to me. They discombobulate and crumble. The most profoundly disturbing, unspeakable thing I've ever witnessed. They're translucent, drained, and their eyes are empty. But there's something in that void of a stare. I'd wondered if there could ever be the faintest spark of life, or, if they've ever been alive and thriving, those underground beings they dug up. Only a rare few could communicate."

Isotophes lowered her head as if to weep. They both had such somber expressions that the others were speechless.

As Monday Eve turned to look at the telescope, Isotophes reached out and rested her hand on Monday's arm as if to say something, causing Monday Eve to drop something that appeared to be some kind of remote control unit.

They both bent down to pick it up and then knelt by each other to speak in hushed voices. With visible tears in her eyes, Isotophes was determined to speak her heart.

"I didn’t leave only because I saw a way out. They didn't trust me anymore than they did you, Eve. For Christ's sake, they had me and my team digging around those tunnels down there for all of them. They wanted every last one. It wasn't what I signed up for. I couldn't do it anymore, I didn't want any part of it because they were alive. And they should have been left alone! I tried to save them! If I found a colony of killer aliens, I'd still never bring harm to them, it's not who I am. Especially when they were so far away from our world, far below the surface."

Monday Eve sat up against the telescope, and put her head in her hands in sorrow. "It's like you said before," Monday Eve said through a raspy voice. "It's all about war. And they'll use whatever means they can, and whoever they can."

"You're not the only one with the memory of their evil. What kinds of things do you think I saw? I got to them before they're even exposed to any solar light. I'd get time frames, which were only hours or days on the surface that their precious equipment couldn't even keep track of. How many years do you supposed passed in those depths? The further you go, the more time is lost. It stands still." Isotophes said as she and Monday Eve choked back tears. "It's hard to come back. Everything is gone or, never the same."

The long duration of isolation under a secret operation that resembled an otherworldly war-zone and trauma they had endured had taken its toll.

"I never knew you were at the base levels. They’re endless aren’t they? Those underground ley lines." Monday said with no more than an anguished whisper.

"How could I have stayed when I finally got back topside?" Isotophes pleaded.

"You couldn't." Monday's voice softened.

Penn and Teller stood nearby with sympathetic expressions. They wondered at whatever reason that allowed these kinds of things that had went on and only ever heard vague rumors about. This was nowhere near what they had expected, this was way out of their league. This was gut-wrenching, and horrible.

As the magicians stood there, it seemed as though they were enveloped with an inner light, like messengers who had come to some final gate, to bring the onlookers out of long carried burden and pain.

Teller's face was the phrasing of long suffering, compassion and careworn. His eyes looked on with an inner warmth that burned away the former ashes of desolation as he extended his hand to help Isotophes up.

Penn's sturdy features marked with understanding and eyes piercing through the shadow of the room, the mood, and the fear like blazing streams of blue fire, wherein there were oceans of forgiveness. He assisted Monday Eve from the floor where she and Isotophes had been sitting.

"I just can't put my finger on where I've seen you before." Isotophes told Teller.

A sense of injustice was stirred within the two magicians and against their better judgment of escaping, they proclaimed their assistance to rid the world of the evil Area 51 and bring it down to its knees, and kick some NASA ass.

"Whatever happens, we'll have to do this together." Penn said as Teller drew in a deep breath and nodded in agreement.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 12

Another Backup Plan

"Okay, everyone listen up!" Dr. George announced clapping his hands together. "We have some flying saucers to deal with. Anyone got any plans?"

"Well, we can forget about remote flying them back to the base at Area 51," Monday said. "Mortamule had control of them the whole time and if he couldn't disengage the smaller craft, we can be sure that this will have to be done manually. Which makes this thing useless." Monday said putting down the remote control unit she was holding.

"What do you mean. . .manually?" Breaker asked.

"She means that the smaller craft will have to have pilots and detach from the mother ship while operating." Mortamule answered him.

"Then what?" Lurch asked, with one raised eyebrow.

"We'll have to get rid of the crafts, and taking them back is out of the question. We have to be creative about this." Mortamule said.

"We could park them all over the country in very visible, public places." Isotophes suggested.

"Talk about one hell of a disclosure." Ben said as he began to bring up flight routes and locations to various suitable landing areas on his computer screen.

"It'll scare a lot of people but it will really put those power-hungry politicians and their masters back into the cave they came from!" Nuzz said dryly.

"We're leaving one of the craft here!" Dr. George demanded.

"Yes, we're coming back in at least two of them, that's why we're getting rid of the others, so we can stay out here unnoticed, or until we can relocate. Twit." Snapped Monday Eve.

The others began to shut down their monitors and secure the place. Dr. George resealed all the secret areas and the solar density gun. Mortamule began to hand out handwritten notes and verbally instructing all the others on what to do. "Each craft has a navigational screen and a second monitor that acts only as radar, to indicate your movements horizontal, vertical and lateral of your craft and of other crafts." Mortamule spoke as simply as he could.

"The navigation will show you where you're at, at all times. As you know the air-frame will be somewhat round, this is simply the design that holds the generating powering structure so that pole reversal is achieved. You'll have to steer in a rotating motion at first to get lift, using the control column. When you pick out a destination to land the craft, you'll have to disconnect the tractor beam by rotating the entire craft in a 360 degree motion. Twice! Push to the left to do this! When you get the signal, drop the hydraulic supports and land the thing!" Mortamule instructed.

"So where do we, as pilots, go after landing? To a nearby phone booth?" Mole asked.

"When you drop the landing gear, the ship is designed to automatically flare, slowing your craft. We will all land together, but one ship gets left someplace, while its pilot boards another craft, until finally they're all dispersed!" Mortamule said, making sure the coast was clear as he looked toward all the ships.

Everyone, except Penn and Teller, understood everything Mortamule had instructed. However they played it down.

Everyone was getting into their combat clothes and readying their exploration gear as Dr. George and Lurch busied themselves with all the alarms in the place. Penn ran over and checked the gauges on the tanks of the base and having to open some of the valves from the surge of the atmospheric pressure from the magnetic storm.

"This gives new meaning to heating the neighborhood." He sighed. "Do we have an escape plan?"

"There's an underground passageway to an abandoned airport," Sketch answered. "There are some shuttle vans that still have fuel in their tanks if we need to use the road to make our escape."

At this new piece of information Penn and Teller looked at the crew with a certain disgust that they weren't fully informed of this earlier.

"How far down does the passage takes us?" Nuzz asked.

"Oh. It'll go down 570 feet below the surface. It'll be okay, the tunnels are lit and we have lights." Dr. George assured him.

"No giant cyclops or aliens, I hope." Nuzz joked.

"We have something crawling around here," Sketch broke in. "but it has considerably more than one eye."

Dr. George made some last checks on the place as he talked with Monday Eve. "I've never been to the sealed off areas in 51, did they really follow all their personnel"?

"The store, the post office, the bathroom if they're inclined to. No matter what." Monday answered frankly.

"How many UFOs are left at A-51 now?" Ben asked Mortamule as they filed towards the doors.

"Not even one."

"Well, you know they'll miss them."

"One would think."

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 13

Large Invasions

They all gathered at the entrance and went outside as Dr. George locked the main doors behind them. Upon seeing the number of spacecraft out in the open, now calm air, they looked on in awe and a little fear. As they all got assigned their ships, they were handed some paper and markers, and given last minute details to remain secure inside should there be any unknowns.

Mortamule told everyone they would have radio contact between ships and to be careful because when in range, others, like police, truck drivers, cab drivers and the like would be able to tune in if they happened to pick up the right frequencies.

There was lift off and they were soon flying within the clouds that the mother-ship was giving off. They saw the earth below and it seemed a strange thing that they could see it so clearly while enveloped inside the vapor of a storm cloud. A voice came over the radio.

"Get a feel for your craft! You can steer slight left and right, up and down. Circle on the craft's own axis. But don't get carried away and fly into each other!" Mortamule ordered.

"How fast can we go? Over." asked Ben.

"Be careful, these things can make it to the Bermuda Triangle in less than five!" Mortamule informed them.

"Captain's log, stardate niner six eight point mach speed. We have just traveled through the cosmic vortex of angry heliocentric outbursts, having escaped a Vulcan onslaught, war vessels with laserblasters and leaving the crew in a dire state of an unknown paradox." Penn reported over the radio.

"Could you hear us back at Hell's Basin, before you landed?" Sketch asked Mortamule casually.

"No. No radio contact. By the way, what were you saying? Because it looked strange."

"We said: Welcome to the Islands!" Isotophes answered.

"Lovely ship, fine cruiser, beats anything on the Autobahn." Lurch answered, as well.

"I said 'Get outta here, we don't want any!'" Ben put in. There was a moment of silence and just a slight murmur of static on their radios.

"Besides," Lurch added. "I was unfocused, struggling with every last breath to free myself from a messy glue that had somehow leaked into the vents and got all over me and then I disappeared momentarily."

"Glue?" asked Isotophes. "The vents are in such disrepair!"

"Uh. I don't know if I should bring this up, but I have a monster spider in here with me! It's looking confused, disoriented and hungry." Mortamule reported.

"It's Midgetknuckle! It's just not worth it to panic and fly off to the Bermuda Triangle just because you're afraid of a spider!" said Penn over the radio.

"I'm gonna have to come out of my ship when we all land to retrieve my pet tarantula." Sketch informed the rest.

After about fifteen minutes of slow, shaky flying, the crew came upon some place to land the first of the ships.

Meanwhile, back at some highway cafe parking lot, a truck driver had picked up on most of the radio conversation. He looked confused as he drank from a Pepto Bismol bottle. Quietly unhinged.

"I have a place to land her. Right there, 5 degrees, 11 o'clock. Bring 'em down." Dr. George called out as they started to land over a large area that was the location of an old fort.

Sketch disconnected from the tractor beam at about 35 feet, landed and exited her craft. After all the other ships landed, she retrieved her spider from Mortamule's hair and put it in her chest pocket. Sketch got into another craft and within seconds they were up again. They each took turns disconnecting and landing their respective spacecrafts.

Monday chose a field with a huge red barn to land one of the craft. Nuzz picked out a road that lead to a junkyard for one craft, while Mole landed one of the craft very close to a police station with a sign that said Come get me coppers!  Penn found a park and landed there, bumping the ship with a few bangs in the process. He wrote on his craft "Skeet Shooting Sucks!"

Teller landed way out in the middle of a wheat field and simply wrote on his craft "I Fucking Quit! No More Crop Circles!" Mortamule laughed when he saw that. "I like that."
"Can you actually make crop circles in these things?" Penn asked.
"Sure. Do you have another brilliant idea?"

After 30 minutes or so, the crew hovered over a nicely made crop circle that Penn and Teller had made. It was a giant card of the three of clubs.

"You planning to do anything with that?" Breaker asked.
"It's for a card trick." Penn said. "Now the only question is, will it be broadcast over national television?" Breaker doubted it. "Probably not."
"Fuck!" Penn said heavily disappointed. "There goes another large scale card trick."

One ship was left on the steps of a church with a sign that read: Jesus was here. Radiation levels may be safe - but ya never know!  All through the night they went about their task, until at last it was time to return to Hell's Basin. Penn and Teller insisted on flying back in one craft, bringing the total of ships to three, making their way back to their secret base.

"Yeah, they'll believe this! We get stuck out in Hell's Basin, some people steal a fleet of spaceships from Area 51, we have to ditch the spaceships in wheat fields, parking lots, lighthouses, drive-in theaters, amphitheaters and some have samples of our handwriting all over them!" Penn states in a continuous tone before sighing. Their little adventure wasn't over yet and they all knew it.

"You know, Fester," Sketch radioed, bringing up a point. "My spider is somewhere in one of these craft, and we're crammed in here pretty good. Don't frighten the poor thing as he likes to jump when scared."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGHH!" said Penn.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 14

A Bermuda Triangle Trick

The flight back was lead by Mortamule, but as they approached the base and hovered the area, they noticed that the craft with Penn and Teller was gone. It wasn't even showing up on radar. They radioed them, hoping that they were just moments behind them. But there was nothing on the radio and nothing on the radar monitors.

"Where are Fester and Renfield? They were on our six." Dr. George was a little panicked. "They probably stole the craft and took off somewhere." Mortamule supposed. "Who wouldn't?"

They landed the two ships they had and hid one in the secret location in the base they prepared months ago. The larger, mothership they had to create some form of cloaking mechanism for it and left it about a fourth of a mile away from the base.

"With all the ships that have been left everywhere, they would be better off just making up some story of how they were out for a stroll and just found it and took off in it." Monday Eve suggested.

The rest had hoped that would be the case, as they could not reach Penn and Teller at all, giving up after multiple attempts. Ben yawned sleepily. Everyone got cleaned up, ate a small snack and then went to sleep. Hours passed.

Out in the Atlantic Ocean, an aircraft carrier and a few helicopters had been circling an area where a small deserted island was located. Penn and Teller were standing next to the UFO, waving at them.

Naturally they and the UFO were taken into custody by the military. Penn and Teller's hopes were now hinged on Area 51 not coming forward to claim the craft. After some time had passed, their hope was realized. The naval captain questioned them and the navy recognized who they were. Penn explained they became stuck out in the Bermuda Triangle over a card trick that went wrong. The captain wasn't sure what to make of it. As they waited to know their fate, some of the servicemen were speaking among themselves. "The shorter one don't speak." So they would ask Penn questions.

"Are you thirsty?" Penn asked Teller as he looked up at Penn and nodded. Teller took a drink of water from the flask that he handed him, and looked back up at Penn. "He says it's a little warm." Penn informed everyone.

For a little while they sat in the bridge of the naval vessel, awaiting to either be taken home or to some military compound. However Penn and Teller were the only ones who knew how to fly the craft, so they were bidding their time. Penn asked the captain if he could inform some higher up to fly over a certain wheat field in Virginia and broadcast it over national television as a curiosity story. The military checked out the location in question and upon seeing it, were a little annoyed. "It's a crop circle of a card." The captain told them when they got the call back from the state of Virginia.

"It's more like a crop card." Penn answered. The captain was visibly frustrated.
"So were you the one to make the crop card with the UFO?" He asked Penn. 
"Maybe I was abducted?" Penn shrugged.
"Abducted?" The captain laughed.
"Yes, I think it was Teller who abducted me. Keep me away from him, he's an alien!" Penn begged him.

As the authorities got live footage of the crop design of the three of clubs card, Penn insisted on knowing when this would go public. The captain assured them that the military would have full control over the situation but that that it would be televised on that same day around evening time. Penn insisted to know the exact time it would be televised and was informed it would be the six o'clock news.

Penn and Teller then asked one of the navy officers if they could look around the ship, and wanted to know where their wallets were. As they were being lead to another part of the ship, Penn and Teller gave them the slip, found the craft parked on the deck with a tarp over it. Managing to sneak in, they alone knew how to fly it and get away. The captain was on the bridge on his phone when he saw a giant camouflage tarp sailing through the air. Slamming down his phone he started to yell orders but it was all in vain. The tarp-covered UFO was gone.

"What happened? Did you not secure the craft?!" The captain demanded to know. "We opened the entryway for the craft and a huge spider was in there, so we closed it back up and waited for further orders." The officer said.

Over in Virginia, in a crowded barroom, Penn and Teller walked in and wanted to know if anyone there wanted to see a card trick. A few people obliged them and Penn and Teller made sure to make a big show of it and include everyone in on the trick. They used a card force and of course pretended to fail to guess the card. The patrons laughed at them and thought they needed to work on their trick a little harder.

They then asked if they could watch the six o'clock news before heading out. The patrons of the place were in shock when they saw the crop card on the big screen TV along with reports of UFO sightings. Penn asked everyone in the joint "Was that your card?" and Penn and Teller promptly left.

Rumors From The Sky - Chapter 15

Hell's Trails

At Hell's Basin the day passed and evening had started to set in. Sketch had fallen asleep in a wad of blankets next to her computer equipment and a radio. A low voice mingled with static was coming through on one of the channels.

"Located what looks like an abandoned research facility (static) weather was unstable (static) UFO sighted at a (more static) all upper regions near the Valley of Fire, and Area 51 have been evacuated."

Sketch opened both eyes in wide shock and jumped up and began disconnecting all the equipment and carried what she could to the secret vault after alerting the others to what she had heard.

"Now wait up, this might not even be our little base that they referred to. I mean we're nowhere near the Valley of Fire." Dr. George explained.

As Sketch had already disabled the tracking systems and went offline to ensure staying hidden, the only way they could know where the military was moving was through shortwave radio. Within minutes everyone was working on disassembling the computers, machinery and equipment. Everything was taken into a hidden chamber twenty feet below the compound, accessible only by an entrance in one of the secret tunnels. "Do note that Area 51 was mentioned right there on the air. That means they are no longer concerned with denying its existence. Our mission may have been more successful than we know!" Sketch said pointing out the obvious. "Our task now is to play possum, leaving no trace of us."

Penn and Teller walked in and informed everyone that they were still safe and undetected at the base. Dr. George asked where the hell they'd been. When Penn explained that they could not let a good card trick go to waste, and how they pulled it off, Lurch stood there with tears of joy in his eyes.

"Well, I'm glad that your crop circle card trick was a huge success." Mortamule said in a half sarcastic, half amused tone. "Me too!" Teller exclaimed.

"Not only did you give me a wonderful sighting event to add to my database, you truly are the gods of prank!" Lurch said humbly and fell to his knees to worship them. They laughed and pulled him up. "You should have seen what we did to the crowd at the 1998 Winter Olympics."

"So what would be the tagline for this prank? The one we all just pulled off?" Sketch asked as she stroked her spider, relieved he was safely returned.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Teller answered.
"We still have to complete this mission." Monday reminded them.

They gathered their packs and flashlights, Isotophes carrying four extra in case they had a faulty one and in case the mine lanterns went out. She wasn't taking any chances and also knew that she was going to lead them through the first part of the tunnels, as they declined quite uncomfortably.

It was slow going at first, as Isotophes was leading them through some very narrow passageways. She was, understandably, due to her past experiences, uncomfortable in tunnels.

After they reached level ground again, which stretched over about four miles, Isotophes gave the lead to Dr. George and fell to the back as the doctor instructed everyone to stay together and call out if someone needed to halt. They stopped to catch their breath for a moment. Isotophes slid down the side of a wall to sit and clasped her hands together. She brushed her hair back with her hands and stared up at the gloomy ceiling of the tunnels of rock and clay. They continued through the dim earth.

"Come on, the climb up to the portal is just straight ahead!" Dr. George called to the others. After walking the four mile stretch through stale tunnel air and dust, they stopped exhausted.

They took sips of water and sat down to rest a bit. Sketch made sure her spider was still secure in Teller's pack. Feeling somewhat more relaxed, they all took notice of a very large spider web just outside three yards of where they sat. Suddenly a row of lights had gone out, leaving them in an even eerier glow of dim light.

"What else could be down here?" Ben asked in a quavering treble.
"Wait. Did you hear that?" Penn asked in a loud whisper. Everyone paused to listen. There was a sound of dirt shifting nearby. The earthen tunnel amplified the sound tremendously.
"The fuck izzat?" squeaked Lurch in fear. Dr. George listened closely. "Probably just a mutant mite."
Teller sighed in relief. "Or a rattlesnake." Sketch suggested.

"Do you think there are any anacondas down here?" Mole asked. "Highly improbable," Ben said, cleaning his glasses. "But not impossible."
"It couldn't be any of those stolen buggy sample-collecting cars from Area 51!" Nuzz said. Just then, a sample-collecting buggy car drove by them and expired.
 
After they checked to see if the coast was clear, they climbed out of the tunnelway, and out into fresh open air. They may not have noticed right away but they had traveled quite a distance underground. It was daylight outside and when Breaker asked if they had lost time. It was confirmed that it was the next day after they had entered the tunnels.

The derelict airport could be seen through binoculars from where they'd emerged. On closer inspection, they noticed two men walking around outside the building.

"We have to turn back." Dr. George informed them. "There seems to be movement at the airport and we can't take any chances. We have to get back and drive out from the base and hope no one detects us en route."

"Oh shit, you're right!" Penn replied. "Our bus is still out there! Why the fuck did we go through these tunnels? We didn't need to do that!" Penn said indicating himself and Teller.

"Were you ever dropped on your head?" Sketch asked Penn.
"No, just Teller." Penn answered.
"Well, I mean, you did fly off to the Bermuda Triangle for fear of a spider." Sketch reminded him.
"Yeah after telling Mortamule to not do that." Ben added.
Teller giggled and Penn scowled.
"Teller was the one flying the ship." Penn informed them. Teller looked away in shame.

Back at the base, they had rested again before finally setting out in their respective vehicles without incident. After soaking up another day of lost time, they were ready to get back home. Penn and Teller were given plenty of gas to get to where they were headed. Which was anyone's guess. They all drove away with a wave and were soon on the charted road. The strange cloudy atmosphere still prevailed, the colors still making the land all around look otherworldly. As the open road lay before them, they quietly relished how their Area 51 mission was successfully accomplished. They drove while thinking in silence.

"Oh!" Exclaimed Dr. George startling his passengers. "That was Penn and Teller! The Las Vegas magic duo act." He laughed realizing that they were telling the truth the whole time.

The End

Written by Iggy and Sketch Lawrence sometime in 2002